From temporary dives towards the Sun

Lately, despite of my effort to find a nice little happy things in a everyday life (WHAT I HAVE FOUND A LOT, WHICH I WILL SHARE LATER), I've been finding myself close to a one big hole. Every time when I assume something will be easier, it will be the opposite. Don't get me wrong, I love my work, but this year these children, who I teach simply suck the life out of me. I start my day telling how much I like my work and that I'm happy to be here, but at the end of the day my smile is long gone, being replased with headache and I wish I'd be swallowed by the earth. Most of all I just want silence. Autumn and the darknes doesn't help, it simply ain't my thing. Pretty much no Sun for the last three weeks,eats me alive. Every other day I feel like I'm walking on the edge, looking at that hole and waiting to see the climpse of a light. Temporary dive

Everything is up to you, said the special person. He means the light is inside me. I cry and admit that he is right, and try to fight, even if it doesn't work every day, but today it works. Top of that I read a amazing, funny and happy story that I "begged" for and I'm ready to light my light again. And I hope and know this will be just a temporary dive, also thanks to special people who know the right words at the right time.
 So I dressed up as "Mama Africa" at work today, children were learning Finnish by looking at the photos from Zambia, Music from ONE AFRICA, smiles & hugs between the fights, no worries when the bike brokes down and the scooter doesn't work well and I miss my dance lesson, but I have a nice couch surfer visiting, my always so wonderful roomie <3 Sini, WINE, Art therapy course tomorrow to look for and then A HOLIDAY!!! Yes, it is all about the attitude! I try to remember that everyday, even if it is hard at times and I do make temporary dives, especially when it's dark. But in the end there is always a sunshine inside me and I will find it.

The special person also send me this picture, that I feel I need to share with you because I know I'm not the only one feeling this way, especially here in Finland, suffering from this seasonal downfall. So lets all try to remember this image of this umbrella, despite of the bloody fact that it will only get darker, but what if we try our best to keep the light burning inside of us and let's remember the Sun and carry with us no matter what! In the end it will come back!

Here Comes the Sun

Sunrise one morning, when we slept at the water hole near Alice Springs, Australia

Minä viiden vuoden kuluttua? (kirjoitettu toukokuussa 2002)

Minä viiden vuoden kuluttua?

Täytän 28-vuotta tänä kesänä. Viimeiset viisi vuotta elämässäni ovat olleet melko uskomattomia. En osannut edes kuvitella mihin kaikkeen elämä minua johdattaa, kun viisi vuotta sitten aloitin opinnot kansainvälisen opettajankoulutuksen Tanskassa. En silloin uskonut kuinka paljon elämän ja maailman näkeminen minua muuttaa ihmisenä.

Sain opinnot valmiiksi vuosi sitten ja palasin sen jälkeen ystäväni kanssa takaisin tänne Afrikkaan tekemään vaapaaehtoistyötä. Olemme rakentaneet uuden kyläkoulun ja käynnistäneet koululaisten opetuksen. Samassa yhteydessä toimii myös neuvontapiste kyläläisille, jossa annamme terveys valistusta eri asioista esim. aidsista, ehkäisystä, hygieniasta ym. Olemme järjestäneet opintokursseja myös aikuisille, sekä kerhotoimintaa kaiken ikäisille. Rahaa on käytettävissä hyvin vähän, joten olemme kehittäneet toimintaja, jossa käytämme hyväksi niitä voimavaroja ja hyödykkeitä mitä täällä on helposti saatavilla ja mihin ihmiset ovat jo ennestään tottuneet. Koulukin rakennettiin kyläläisten voimin ja perinteisiä menetelmiä käyttäen. Helppoa tämä ei suinkaan ole, koska budjetti jolla toimimme on minimaalinen, sekä kulttuuriemme väliset erot tulevat yhä selkeämmin esille. Esimerkiksi siinä, että lapset eivät tule kouluun, jos vanhemmat kokevat tarvitsevansa heitä kotona. Myös sadonkorjuu kausin, suurin osa oppilaista on pitkään poissa koulusta ja se vaatii meiltä paljon joustavuutta.

Vapaa-aikaa on tuskin koskaan, mutta kyllä tämä on sen arvoista, koska näemme joka päivä kuinka tärkeää meidän työmme täällä on. Täällä pienilläkin asioilla on merkitystä ja elinolosuhteissa tapahtuvat muutokset vaikuttavat koko kylä yhteisöön. Ihmiset osoittavat kiitollisuutensa ja arvostavat meidän työtämme täällä. Meidän pestimme täällä Afrikassa tulee päättymään tämän vuoden lopussa. Työtämme tulee jatkamaan eräs opettaja toverini, joka on lähtöisin samasta koulusta kuin minä. Tavoitteena on kouluttaa kyläyhteisön jäsenistä opettajia, jotka tulevat jatkossa huolehtimaan opetuksesta ja koulutoiminnan ylläpitämisestä.

Monet ihmiset ja ystäväni Suomessa eivät ymmärrä miksi teen tätä työtä ja vielä vapaaehtoisesti. He eivät voi ymmärtää, kun eivät ole nähneet. Olen yrittänyt selittää heille kuinka paljon sisältöä olen tällä työllä saanut elämääni ja kuinka tärkeäksi olen tuntenut työni. Täällä jos missä kätteni jäljet näkyvät. Kaikki maailman lapset ovat minulle yhtä arvokkaita ja jokainen heistä ansaitsee saada opetusta. Kansainvälisenä opettajana minulla on myös vastuu jakaa tietoa eteenpäin ja perustaa kouluja paikkoihin, jossa opetusta ei vielä saada. En halua jäädä Suomeen, koska tunnen, että minua tarvitaan paljon enemmän jossain muualla.

Valitsin tämän tien jo silloin, kun aloitin opinnot. Halusin kehittää itseäni ja löytää sellaiset elämänarvot, että voin arvostaa jokapäiväistä elämääni murehtimatta turhia. Siinä asiassa olen onnistunut ja olen tasapainossa itseni kanssa, vaikka moni asia on muuttunut. Vielä viisi vuotta sitten minulla oli aika ruusuinen kuva tästä työstä. Nyt arki on tullut vastaan ja silti tunnen edelleen olevani oikealla tiellä. Vastoinkäymiset ja epäonnistumiset tuntuivat välillä ylivoimaisilta ja ihmisten asennoituminen omaan elämäänsä käsittämättömältä. Kuitenkin kaikki nämä kokemukset ovat hioneet minua ja tehneet minusta yhä vahvemman. Työni on todella palkitsevaa ja tällä hetkellä en voisi kuvitella tekeväni mitään muuta. Harrastuksia minulle ovat kielien ja kulttuurin opiskelu, sekä matkustaminen on minun intohimoni. Olen viettänyt suurimman osan lomistani rinkka selässä.

Tällä hetkellä minulle on tärkeää tämä työni. Perheen perustaminen tulee sitten myöhemmin. Olemme ystäväni kanssa tehneet päätöksen, että sitoudumme tähän työhön muutamaksi vuodeksi ja katsomme mitä elämä tuo tullessaan. Lapsen hankkiminen tulee varmaankin jossakin vaiheessa, mutta olen jo miettinyt adoption mahdollisuutta, koska maailmassa on paljon lapsia ilman vanhempia. Tämän hetkinen työni on uusien koulujen perustaminen alueille, jossa on köyhää ja paljon lukutaidottomia ihmisiä. Seuraava koulu-projektimme sijoitttuu Intiaan ja lastenkotiin. Aloitamme toiminnan ensi kesänä. Perustamme koulun samoihin tiloihin alueella sijaitsevan lastenkodin kanssa. Tarkoitus on laajentaa tiloja koululle, sekä saada koulu ja lastenkoti toimivaksi kokonaisuudeksi. Siinä on taas haastetta kerrakseen.

Tulevaisuudesta ei koskaan tiedä mitä se tuo tullessaan, mutta täytyy katsoa päivä kerrallaan! Lopuksi voisin vielä todeta yhden tärkeän seikan, joka minua on puhutellut näiden vuosien aikana. Olen opettaja, mutta myös yhä edelleen oppija tässä elämänkoulussa.

Olen kirjoittanut kyseisen tekstin avoimen yliopisto-opintojeni portfolioon toukokuussa 2002. Silloin tiesin lähteväni opiskelemaan Tanskaan kansainväliseksi opettajaksi. Aika hienoa huomata kuinka fiksuja ajatuksia minulla oli silloin, toki olin idealisti, mutta olisin voinut yhtyä moniin seikkoihin sitten 2009 jolloin oikeasti tulin takaisin Zambiasta. Ainakin tämä idealisti on toteuttanut aika monta asiaa tosin aikaahan on kulunut 10 vuotta kyseisestä kirjoituksesta!!!Jotain credittiä pitää antaa äitille, joka sillon oikoluki mun tekstin ja anto hyviä vinkkejä.  Ehkä olisi aika kirjoittaa uusi kirjoitus ja asettaa taas elämälle uusia haasteita ja pistää taas asiat tärkeysjärjestykseen.

Ihanaa alkavaa viikkoa kaikille ja muistakaa elää!!!

Pieniä muistoja vuosien varrelta...

Ayub Ogada - Kothbiro

THESIS...slowly but surely getting there..but it's not ready yet!

 

Mulibuanji?Buino,bwanju? minibuses, One Zambia One Nation, Fendela fenduse, sweat, heat, rain, twenty people stuffed in to a one minibus, fens, scary dogs, people smiling, people dancing, loud music, drumming, taxis, holes on the roads, waiting - waiting – waiting - waiting, children playing, people selling things on the streets, fruits, Arcades, Mandahill, corruption, poverty, muzungu - muzungu - muzungu, amazing sunsets, death, sleeping under mosquito nets, Malaria, crickets, tens of proposals for marriage, hiv/aids, orphans, smile, joy, men expressing their love on the streets to me, white = money, Lariam dreams, nsima – nsima - nsima, Victoria falls, waiting for hours for bus to leave at 4am, cockroaches, brothers and sisters, power cuts, Chipata, Nc’wala ceremony,  goat=a present from the chief of the village on your plate at the dinner table in front of twenty people, sleeping with the rats, chitenges, “showering” under the stars, eating dry fish without salt and chewy meat, dancing with the women and children, South Luanga national park, amazing Safari, mangoes, washing laundry by hand, people preaching everywhere especially in the bus and in the schools, people trying to convert you when you tell them you don’t follow any religion, a priest proposing a marriage without never seeing me, endless malaria tests, people telling you how fat you are, walking slowly, wake up with the sunrise, time is for people, silence and beauty of countryside, running stomach, typhoid parasites, no stress, living in a moment, values, extended families, colorful clothes, a  joy of a child who is loved, a beauty of a Zambian woman walking…this is my Zambia.

Zambia, December 2008

I feel very frustrated about whole Ubuntu after visiting a couple of schools here in the area of Chipata, in the city and in the villages. It is obvious that school culture and the culture of the village are more or less in constant state of tension, as they mentioned at the University, of course depending on a situation in each village, but I don’t even know how to get into that. Who am I as a white woman, outsider to come and “solve” or point out this problem? Also thinking about the ethics of the school and the questions I wanted to ask from the principals and the teachers, I felt so stupid even thinking about it after hearing all the issues they are struggling with every day just to keep the schools running, no funding, sicknesses, pregnancies, hunger and so on. What an idealistic little shit I’ve become back there in my nice little easy life in Europe? When one loses the touch of the reality of other people, one starts to develop ideas which are as ridiculous to carry out as the fact that every Zambian child is able to go to school!!! Have I forgotten all the previous experiences in the rural India and elsewhere? I’ve come to realize Ubuntu as philosophy or maybe even as a phenomenon absolutely deserve a broader research. Yet, I’ve started to see the “negative” aspects of Ubuntu more clearly, like the role of the community in individual’s life, what we also touched in our Bachelors’ thesis. There are dangers especially in the present society, which is in a constant change, whereas the communities, especially the traditional cultures are exposed to such things that they cannot or they don’t have the tools to cope with and therefore they tend to become even more focused on about their own old traditions.

Melbourne, December 2010

Once again Javi has to listen to me opening about my thesis, because I need to discuss with someone. I’m excited and fearful at the same time trying my best to explain what I'm doing .  I tell him about reflexive writing, about the book I was reading the other day and how I’m struggling to structure everything. After listening me opening up quite a while, Javi finally interrupts me asking if I understand the fact that when I write about myself and those things, I have to be open to criticisms. He wonders how I’m able to defend my thesis, if I’m even able to. He continues pointing out that for sure my professors will criticize me and if they will even accept my thesis, if I do it the way I want to do it and write myself in it. I must admit he is not the only thinking I must be mad, couple of other people, I told about my thesis at the University of Melbourne, commented if it is really acceptable to write that kind of thesis and what kind of validity it has. I’m feeling bit anxious and disappointed if that was all what Javi had to say, so I sigh and I argue to Javi, like the others before and for many more to come, that for me it is enough that my thesis contributes meaningfully to the life of the readers as well as mine. If I am able to make my readers to feel something I have succeeded and my research has validity.  

 

Finland, May 2012

I have bags full of books that carry between the home, University and my workplace on Sundays. I cannot concentrate at home. Most of this year, I feel like being a dead zombie, because I sleep so little, I have too many things in my head all the time.  Either I’m writing my thesis while sleeping or having nightmares about my thesis or my work. Let alone other things that happen in life and of course life happens when you simply have no time for it.  So time after time I ask myself, what is important in life and most often thesis comes second, even if I myself chose the ‘difficult’ way of doing it. Many times I asked myself WHY I AM NOT ABLE TO FINISH THIS BLOODY THESIS How can some people have kids, work and even study all at the same time? After I stepped out of the ‘wheel of accomplishing’ all the time, it’s difficult to step back in, though I must say a lot easier in Finland, because you’re simply sucked in. But it’s not healthy way of living. I wonder why I cannot concentrate to formulate my thoughts into proper academic sentences. It’s all in my head, but I cannot get it out, only if I could just write a story or even dance my thesis. I use to write fairly good essays, not that it was easy, but maybe it's  the size of this work that freaks me out and I feel so alone with it. Lack of energy, time and frustration, when you realize you’re not capable of doing what you want or had planned, in the end rescheduling slowly eats you inside, because you simply don’t see the end coming. Time is out, I have used my fifteen minutes already.

To my dear Uncle

To my dear Uncle Juha, 

You ended your journey of life,

when mine had just began.

It made me see think and feel

emptiness and pain

 such, I never felt before.

Having you in my life,

 later loosing you tragically

influenced who I am today.  

I wish you had been, because we are,

I wish we had been, because you are.

I wish you knew I loved you

and I always will.

It's more than seven years ago when we lost him and I still miss him. Tonight after having a night out to clear my head, cycling home and seeing first time that night does not come anymore, meaning summer is here. I'm thinking my life, about my thesis and what I will write tomorrow, suddenly I feel I have to dedicate my thesis to my uncle, because even more after he was gone, I felt need for "we" thinking insted of I. Maybe he directed me to my path with Ubuntu as well. 'person is a person through other person' therefore 'I am because you are'.

Ubuntu

Smile

When I saw you first time
you were lying in the bed,
and you gave me a shy smile.
When I was feeding you
you were playing with me
having a teasing smile on your face.
When I was talking to you
you didn't understand me,
but you gave me a beautiful smile.
When I went away
a sad smile on your face
you were calling me, "Antie"!
For a moment I gave you my love
and you gave me your beautiful smile.
( In India, 2002)

Over the years I've met many children all over the world and I've seen so many smiles and that is the best thing in the world, to see children smiling! I could make a smile exhibition out of my photos :)  The poem was written in India. It was the first time I travelled to a developing country and for few days I was volunteering at Mother Teresa's center for disabled children in Mumbai. Some of the children had never been hugged or hold before. I hope I was able to make them feel special and loved at least for a moment. I still carry her smile in my heart as well as many others I've met over the years.

Smiling is powerful, when you see someone smiling it makes you smile as well. Sometimes I just smile to people passing by and almost everyone smiles back at me! Try for one day just smile to everyone and see how happy it makes people around you, as well as yourself.


Keep on smiling everyone!  
                                 Nat King Cole - Smile 

Happiness…positive thinking!

For the past couple of weeks many unexpected things happened in my life as usual…it’s called life…yet it’s not always easy to accept that your plans have changed, especially when I was finally going for it, but I guess once again reminder for me that there’s no reason to plan because life happens anyways. So follow your instinct and see what life has to offer and meanwhile be positive and stop stressing because it leads nowhere!

Remember that often the most unwanted things can become the best ones, like “working” on Saturday end up being so great after all, not because the seminar was so good but because my colleagues are one of a kind! Best part of the day was to be together and have time to talk! Once again I remember why I want to work in that particular school! 

Have time with yourself and your friends.

Friday evening with a bottle of really good organic red wine, dark chocolate and good memories!

Saturday evening with my dear friend Sini, chill out and lie on the couch and do nothing, PERFECT!

On Sunday a short walk on a sunny but freaking cold air just to enjoy the Sun, I managed half an hour, but better than nothing. Amazing to see the Sun and light for so long...I've missed you so much!!!

Another highlight of the week a Skype session with dear Javi…dreams, travels, freedom, longing, ONE BIG SMILE! P.S. I love Skype!

Just before 8pm I went  to vote for the best possible president, a greenparty candidate Pekka Haavisto, even if he didn't become our president, he won, we won...there's still hope for the better future! After voting I passed by my beloved extended family, just enough time to chat a bit with a kids and give goodnight hugs and kisses. Then have to have a moment with Jen and Gabor. I really enjoy these quiet moment just us adults chatting about what ever! What a perfect weekend!

Be yourself and honest to yourself.

Do things that make you happy at least once a day!

EVERYONE, BE POSITIVE AND HAVE AN EXCELLENT WEEK!!!

Beauty of winter and light which is slowly returning to us.

 Since it's a national day of Sami tomorrow I want to share with you this amazing singer that a friend Hoda kindly reminded of me on facebook. I remember listening this with my friend Katja.

 Sofia Jannok

Happy National Sami Day!

Art of being an immigrant class teacher

Part One, A PUZZLE

As some of you may know after returning to Finland I’ve been a teacher for immigrant children at the primary level. It’s like a prep class to learn Finnish, culture and some other subjects. Yeah, I know how ironic, ha me teaching Finnish. But shhh, they don’t know how bad I am in Finnish and it is simple Finnish, so it’s ok, I won’t spoil the kids, I promise. Now you’re wondering what is this, I was supposed to bring a smile on your face after reading my blog, I promise you will. I think many of you can relate to what I'm gonna tell you. Though, I admit lately I’ve been bit emotional and I’ve been thinking way too much… as someone would say to me…Little princess, you think too much! To get to the point telling about art of being me and punch of others who do what I’m doing…

After sleeping only about 5 hours because of the bloody full moon, that for some reason kept me awake or maybe more the fact that peace is over in my life for couple of months again.
I have nine kids in my class and I know most of you think ONLY NINE, what she is complaining about, she doesn’t know a thing! Wait…they’re from 5 different countries, out of these nine children, three are 1st graders…no sorry one of them is actually preschoolers, two 2nd graders, one 3rd grader, one 5th grader and two 6th graders. Top of that even the ones being at the same grade their level of Finnish differs, or they’ve never been to school before. They’re also integrated into to normal classes in art subjects and some others. And…yes, let me get into that…it means I have to make 9 different timetables to fit into other classes timetable so that each one of them is able to go to their integration lessons. Then I make one timetable, which tells me who integrated to where and when, (rather than looking 9 different ones or trying to remember everything by heart DOES NOT WORK FOR ME)After that I start making my own timetable trying to have somehow equal amount of time for each children and their needs!

When I started this autumn it was a NIGHTMARE I tell you, it took me weeks trying to make sense of anything. So each time I became smarter, admit I spent A LOT OF TIME figuring out what, where, how to make it easier and manage it.  Now I’m pretty good at making these puzzles, even if say it myself!!! IT ONLY TOOK ME about 8 hours this time to make all the timetables (being so fool that I actually made them ready over the holiday so that I’ll just see little changes here there when the school starts) I tell you, one or two hours changes here and there in other teachers timetable and I have to redo the whole thing!!!But it only took me ONE evening now when the school started (for sure there’ll be some changes as always)!!!

To make my life easier knowing what lays ahead (chaos as always, because, the kids have totally forgotten how to behave, sit still, listen and… Can you guess what are the first Finnish words they learn to say in my class after learning to say their name …SIT DOWN and BE QUIET!!!)  I was super active yesterday making food for the whole week :) just put it in a micro way for 2 min while you open your computer and start writing…in your dreams my thesis!!! But life feels so much better!

But I LOVE MY job (and there’s a lot more that I’m not telling you just trying to make it look nice)… at least the kids :D…all the hugs I got today, I tell you,even being tired and running around like mad man I still wanna go to work tomorrow!!!It can only get better!

Good night people, tomorrow is another day!

I felt as tired today, though not as relaxed as in the picture!

This is how I've been feeling! The Puzzle Song

The Love that You Bring

The Love that You Bring

The other day I talked with a good friend mine about sadness we both felt over the holiday, even if it was nice to see so many great people, but going back to home alone, hit you kind of hard. One reason being our non-existing love life, no more, having a special person in our lives, or maybe just in those particular moments you experienced. I mean I can honestly say I’m really really happy for all my friends, who have a healthy relationships or a family. Even if I’m not keen on having a family on my own, of course I’d love to share my life with someone special. I’m not bitter, nor crying out of my bittiness because I do enjoy my life, don’t get me wrong. Yet, sometimes I feel sadness because of some special moments I’d like to share with someone special because it simply makes life better. I don’t necessarily even mean being in love with someone, but to share some moments with someone special in that particular moment is amazing. Last year I shared my life with many special people, who I connected with various ways. To live together with special people is even more amazing and it just makes your everyday life so much better. There are different special people in different moments. When I was at my gramps cottage this Christmas (that’ll be another story) I especially missed someone special, even if I was happy to share that moment with Mimmi and Matias. Still, I wish to have experienced it with someone for the first time and I thought I hope you can come up here one day and I can take you there. It’s a magical place! I’m so grateful of those moments and places I’ve experienced for the first time with you, those moments were so special and fucking amazing, because you are special and the way you see things. You taught me so much!

This is not dwelling in the past, but keeping these special people with me even when they are far. If I was in a relationship my life would have been so different and I haven’t met or get to know these special people who I have in different places, like in Australia. Once again reason for everything. So instead I should be extremely happy that I have and still will have so many special people in my life. That’s why we meet different people in different times. Sometimes I fall in love or have a crush on people just because they’re so special!

I realized that Australia, as well as Belgium, Denmark, Sweden, Zambia and so on have been such amazing experience for me because of the people I shared my life with while living there. Even if I’m not so good with my love life, I am extremely fortunate to have so many special people in my life. Of course there are many special people in my life in Finland as well, that’s why it’s worth living here at the moment, even if I miss some other special people. We will meet again! 

This Christmas holiday came out completely different than I expected because of so many special people I spend time with. This is probably the best Christmas in years in Finland. My plan was to just write my thesis after I come back from Rovaniemi, but life planned something different. Suddenly, some people I hadn’t seen ages were all here in Oulu. Don’t know when I have time to see them again so I chose these people over my thesis. A friend of mine said to me after hearing I got a job and again I was struggling to finish my bloody thesis, you know that your work is more important, even if it means delaying your thesis another year! He was right. My thesis will come and for some reason after having a holiday I’m in a mood for writing again. I know I should be writing my thesis right now, but just writing this blog switches my mind into English and makes me going on with my thesis as well, because after this my mind is empty. Someone once said that it’s good to write down everything you have in your mind in the morning and then you’re ready for new things. And I will finish my thesis this spring just wait and see. I know I’ve said so many times, but now it’s written down and you can all see it!

  

This is to all special people in my life! Thank you for those moments we shared together! For sure there’ll be more in the future, but till then, the ones far away, I carry you in my heart till we meet again.

Laugh, joy, peace, love, being together…some highlights of the year! 

Part of my family in Melbourne

 Alice Springs with special people

 Love

incredible moment

 being together

Sorry the first song is in Finnish but it talk about importance of family and friend. He sings… This is for you all, to my family and dear friends, who are there for me, we hang around together, there is no room for hate. This is for all my family and friends. We'll meet again where ever we go because you will stay in my heart forever! If you wanna know more use Google translator 

Raappana, Perhesuhteet 

The other song was posted by a friend Jaci from Melbourne. I like the message.

The Love That you Bring

Something different

Happy New Year 2012!

It's time to start something different to brighten my day in this “dark” land of Finland. For the past couple of years I've shared climbs of my life occasionally when I've lived somewhere else than in Finland. However this time I have decided to write what's in my mind, maybe about my life wherever I am and find something positive about each day. I promise to write, share a picture or what ever when ever I feel like. At least I want to share a smile with you!

Today my happy moment was going to yoga Pilates after having a long break. Now I'm feeling great, it’s time to start having my life back! I highly recommend yoga to everyone; it makes your life so much better! Another happy moment was neighbors’ girl, who came to say hi because she hasn’t seen me for a long time (one week :) I was on the phone and she promised to come back tomorrow. To see her smile just made my day!

I also spend some time looking back at my life during the past year. It started out in Melbourne, Australia and ended up in Oulu, Finland, year before that other way around, how funny. In total it was an excellent year! I’ve shared my life with so many amazing people, seen wonderful places, so many unforgettable moments. Of course life wasn’t just a one happy life every day, but I want to remember the good ones! There are few people who made my life so much better this year, some of you are far at the moment, some closer, but I hope you all know how much you mean to me, even if the time we shared together was short, but even more important. 

Things I’ve learned last year is to try to live in moment, (even if I don’t succeed to live according to that every day, but I try) to believe that things will work out no matter what, to be honest to yourself and your feelings even when it might means it hurts. Remember that we only live here once and it’s best to make most of it!

Even if I feel sadness in my heart today, still there is always hope…maybe tomorrow will be brighter day, at least days are finally getting longer…minute by minute light is coming back in to my life!

Happy New Year to everyone! Let’s make this year a good one! 

I love you all!

I want to share this photo with you because it makes me smile. While writing my thesis I've also looked at the photos from Zambia. This is from Nc'wala ceremony from Eastern Zambia. 

Enjoy life, dance and smile!

While looking at the pictures song in my head...number one hit while I was there :) makes me wanna move, I miss dancing!!!

Fendela fenduze