It's 00.02 and I'm sitting outside in our balcony. Just got home from my fairwell party with Karmiini, which is a dance group I've been part of more than a year now. We had our spring performace today and I was so pround of us, how far we've come from where we started. I'm so lucky that I've been able to be part of this group and all the things I've learned this year and challenging myself in a form of dance and performing after many many many years. Theme for the whole Spring performance was Rebellion of Toybox :) Name of our performance was "freeing" of make-up faces (Meikkipään irtiotto).
I cycled at home at midnight only wearing a dress, watcing the amazing colours in the horizon while sun was setting, +17 and it's almost like a daylight. All I could do was smile and enjoy the life around me, trees bursting into a life. Suddenly I can see life everywhere and it's amazing! I hear birds singing and smell forest around me and it's night time. I fell in love with Finland again and my heart feels like bursting into tears because I know I'll be leaving again. Once again I'm about to leave when the best time of the year in Finland starts.
As you know I've been struggling the whole winter, but then when the light and warm comes back I feel like I can breath again and start to enjoy life. Amount of Sun affects me in so many ways and not just me but most Finns, they get bit crazy after a long and dark winter. Suddenly you see people every where and realize how many people actually live in your appartment block, because they finally get out of their apartments.
Past months have been crazy in so many ways. Stories and amazing things to share with you I've had many, like my holiday in Spain in March which was a turning point for my awakening for this Spring, but at the same time I felt bad having such a good time once again outside Finland, which made me not want to share it with you. Maybe I'll share it with you later. Also I've had hard time leaving my job...despite of the challenging times I've had with my students, I love each one of them and leaving them before the term was over was difficult for them and for me. But life goes on (I go and see them every week x) and it is time to move on.
Moving on seems to be harder than before. I've had too many good people around me this year, what makes jumping (once again) to something unknown (Peru) even if it is my own choice, very difficult. There was a reason to come back to Finland and spend here the last two years, to live with these amazing people and feel a sence of belonging. However, belong to what has been last two years won't exist here next year, so it is time to let go, look for new adventures and find a sence of belonging from somewhere else.
Still, I will miss Finnish summer, allthough I know it's too short anyways (except mosquitos, which have not yet arrived so I'm actually enjoyig the best moments of the summer, because it's so warm and no mosquitos). At least I have a one month to go!
Below pictures of Oulu around my apartment at 00.00 tonight.
To let myself go
I cycled at home at midnight only wearing a dress, watcing the amazing colours in the horizon while sun was setting, +17 and it's almost like a daylight. All I could do was smile and enjoy the life around me, trees bursting into a life. Suddenly I can see life everywhere and it's amazing! I hear birds singing and smell forest around me and it's night time. I fell in love with Finland again and my heart feels like bursting into tears because I know I'll be leaving again. Once again I'm about to leave when the best time of the year in Finland starts.
As you know I've been struggling the whole winter, but then when the light and warm comes back I feel like I can breath again and start to enjoy life. Amount of Sun affects me in so many ways and not just me but most Finns, they get bit crazy after a long and dark winter. Suddenly you see people every where and realize how many people actually live in your appartment block, because they finally get out of their apartments.
Past months have been crazy in so many ways. Stories and amazing things to share with you I've had many, like my holiday in Spain in March which was a turning point for my awakening for this Spring, but at the same time I felt bad having such a good time once again outside Finland, which made me not want to share it with you. Maybe I'll share it with you later. Also I've had hard time leaving my job...despite of the challenging times I've had with my students, I love each one of them and leaving them before the term was over was difficult for them and for me. But life goes on (I go and see them every week x) and it is time to move on.
Moving on seems to be harder than before. I've had too many good people around me this year, what makes jumping (once again) to something unknown (Peru) even if it is my own choice, very difficult. There was a reason to come back to Finland and spend here the last two years, to live with these amazing people and feel a sence of belonging. However, belong to what has been last two years won't exist here next year, so it is time to let go, look for new adventures and find a sence of belonging from somewhere else.
Still, I will miss Finnish summer, allthough I know it's too short anyways (except mosquitos, which have not yet arrived so I'm actually enjoyig the best moments of the summer, because it's so warm and no mosquitos). At least I have a one month to go!
Below pictures of Oulu around my apartment at 00.00 tonight.
To let myself go
